"This Must Be The Place" The Talking Heads

"Home is where I want to be but I guess am already there"

I think its hard to really write down the way you feel sometimes. I haven't written poetry or anything for that matter outside of school work, in ages and its bringing me down. Its frustrating to find out that you have really nothing to say but I guess I have been in that mood lately and I hate it. I am not used to really being alone so much. I dont know what I thought moving to a new country would be like but maybe I shouldn't have been so niave as to think that I would feel that I fit in so quickly. I have school and that takes up most of my time but at moments I feel what I think is homesickness seep in. The feeling of being able to pick up the phone and being able to talk to my brother or a friend without worrying about using up all of my phone card or what time it is. Not that I dont have people that I can call here and speak to, its just not the same. Its different because know one really knows me here and everyone is new to me here.
Its so funny that when I was in the states I relished in my time alone, trying to just have some quiet time on the couch because work took up all of my time but now I have more alone time then I care for and I guess I could call someone here and arrange to meet for lunch but living on a budget hinders alot of silly expenses.
Which means that I should find a job..am working on it. I hate the idea of going from shop to shop and leaving my c.v. I hate doing it period but we all have to do it so I should just suck it up, right? Right!
So anyways now that I have written this all down I feel much better and as I read it over I dont really feel as bad as it sounds. I cant really complain I mean look where I am, in a vibrant city, studying the subject I love and feeling that this path could actually take me somewhere, so I should stop wallowing. It doesnt mean that I cant miss what I have left behind, I just have to give it time. And I have 2 and a half years.